There are cruel twists for many that leave us, or our partners, genuinely struggling to extend even minor acts or expressions of the heart. For some that’s rooted in medical or physical conditions, for others it’s a matter of emotional trauma taking a toll, and for some the struggle is grounded in how well their physical brain is capable of actually cooperating with the heart.


One moment there may very well be a romantic thought or desire for closeness & intimacy, but seconds later, it can be buried and unreachable again. Those times are more frequent than it may seem obvious to our partners. But both participants in the relationship recognize the toll this type of rollercoaster takes.


When it comes to the varying sections, it is not a matter of rating one level higher on the “romance scale” than the other. Every act, no matter how small, COUNTS. Romance is not a competition, there are not extra bonus points being given out in this section for stepping up to the next level. Both partners in the relationship need to recognize that romance is a matter of effort & intentions. Period.


You may need more than one of the sections, or you might find that you fall squarely into a specific section. It is realistic to encourage and expect users to step back & forth between the four sections with some regularity as they assess what best meets their needs each day. Having that option allows for plans to be made, and then altered without the user having to feel as though they’ve failed. For many, it will be a matter of truly rolling moment to moment in deciding which list best suits your needs at the time. Don’t get hung up on the different sections, stay focused on your intent.


Partners please keep in mind, that some of the strongest hearts we know struggle to express what’s inside at a level that society teaches is the “norm” or what should be expected. Those examples deserve to be put aside and acknowledged for what they are, someone else’s details. Encourage one another to just do their best. That pertains to both the one attempting to extend a gesture as well as to the one on the receiving end. Odds are, if you’re in this section, and using these specific resources, then you’ll know why it’s something to savor and enjoy when your partner finds they can use them effectively within the relationship.


Everybody stay encouraged. We’ll keep building and adding to this resource, keep checking in with us to find those ideas that best meet your needs.


And one last final note: Another resource is currently under development to assist those trying to share romantic gestures with those who struggle to receive them due to similarly unique circumstances. ZARZAND recognizes that can be just as complicated for no small number of people.


ZARZAND’s founders get PTSD. They live with it every single day. We hope this resource meets your needs as well as it’s helped ours.



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